First Trimester

Dear Conrad,

The first three months were remarkably uneventful. Once the dizziness passed (around week 10) then I had very little indication that I was pregnant. There were many times that I was afraid I had lost you. In fact, at eight weeks I had some spotting. Frightened, I contacted my doctor's office and made an appointment for the next day. Obviously everything ended up being fine, but it scared me bad enough that I spent the rest of that day in bed.

I had no cravings, and I had no morning sickness, but I did lose my appetite during those early months, and it wasn't until I was in my second trimester that it returned. I did have a superhuman smelling ability; I remember being able to smell an open can of frosting from two (albeit tiny) rooms away. That faded after a week or two, which I suppose is for the best. Smells that were close by were overwhelming, and I might have developed morning sickness if smells stayed amplified.

Something I gave up that I didn't expect to give up was certain video games. Your mommy loved playing games like League of Legends and Team Fortress 2, but as you'll figure out someday, people online are jerks. Your mommy has been online for almost 20 years, and the online community has changed a lot since she was a little girl. Back then, there were three things you weren't supposed to talk about: politics, religion, and the Holocaust. That all changed in the new millennium as the internet became more accessible. Anyway, playing games online with so many rude people was causing my blood pressure to soar near unhealthy levels, so I gave up online gaming for most of the pregnancy ... that is, until Team Fortress 2 released the Mann vs. Machine update.

I counted down the days to second trimester because I was so excited to find out if you were a boy or a girl. We had already picked out names for both genders, and I'm so glad we got to use the name Conrad.

How Others Found Out

Dear Conrad,

Originally, I didn't want anyone else to know about you until I made it to second trimester. I had read so many stories on the internet of new parents who had gotten that positive test, only to find out it was a blighted ovum or a chemical pregnancy, and I was afraid that this would be us. You came to us so easily that I was terrified you would be taken away so easily as well.

I'm terrible at keeping secrets, though, so I hope I never have to plan a surprise party for you. Two days after we found out, I was complaining to my best friend, Jeff, over Facebook about how dizzy, sore, and tired I was. (It's amazing how quickly pregnancy symptoms start showing up after your first positive test.) He jokingly said that I must be pregnant. Now, I realize that I should have just let that go since I hadn't told my parents yet, but I couldn't. I talked to Jeff all the time, and I knew I would end up telling him eventually, so I told him that he was a good guesser and then promptly warned him not to tell anyone.

Because I told someone - or as I prefer to say it, congratulated someone on their powers of deduction - your daddy wanted to tell someone, so Brad was the next person to find out.

Your grandparents found out on the 25th, two days after we saw the little jellybean that was you on the ultrasound. I wanted to be cute and tell both sets of grandparents at the same time, but when your dad and I called, my parents weren't home but his mom was, so Nana and Papa found out first. A few hours later your Poppy and Gigi finally came home and I told them. For some reason, I was worried that they would be angry that we had chosen this time in our lives to get pregnant (your dad was in his second semester of grad school and I had been unsuccessful in finding a steady job.) I shouldn't have worried. They were so excited that there would be a baby that Christmas.

We were so excited after telling your grandparents about you that later that evening we told many more people. Your dad and I have a group of nerdy friends that we talk to regularly, so they found out next. I called Aunt Christy that night and told her too. She was so fun to tell because she actually yelled out in excitement.

The next day we got a call from Nana, who told us that she passed on her good news to Aunt Amanda and that we should expect a call from her sometime that day. We assumed she wanted to call and congratulate us herself, so we were very surprised to learn that she was also expecting a baby! What had us truly gobsmacked was that your cousin's due date was October 19th ... just three days before yours.

How I Told Your Father

Dear Conrad,

Someday, you might be curious to know how I told our father that we were having a baby. At 9:13 am on February 13th, 2012, I sent your father a message over Facebook:

"Don't freak out. I took a pregnancy test this morning. There is a faint second line."

Truth be told, I think he was a little mad about the way I told him. At the very least, I probably should have waited until he came home from class and told him in person. I guess I was getting him back for his very informal marriage proposal, haha. He forgave me soon enough, anyway.

A Year Ago Today

Dear Conrad,

You aren't quite four months old yet, but today marks the day that we found out about you. You were our early Valentine. Your dad and I couldn't believe we had gotten pregnant so quickly. I mean, this was the first month that we had tried to get pregnant. Lots of couples try for months, and some even try for years before they finally get pregnant, so we felt truly blessed.

In a way, though, you were a long time coming. I was ready for you for almost two years before your dad was ready to become ... well, your dad. As you get older, I hope you never think for I moment that I don't want you. Even before you were here, I wanted you. No, I needed you in my life.

Over Christmas, you, me, and your dad stayed up late at Nana and Papa's house to look through old photo albums. I found your daddy's baby book, and wanted to do something similar for you. Thing is, I'm terrible at keeping up with books. Most people are. Baby books just aren't portable, but you know what? With things like smartphone apps, blogs practically are. So I'm writing this blog for you so that, in the future, you can look back on it with your future spouse. You can laugh about something silly that I wrote for you, just like we laughed when Nana wrote that Daddy had a bad temper as a baby. (I mean, your father is very slow to anger, so to hear that he had such a temper was hilarious to us.)

Plus, I'm starting to forget some things, and I don't want to lose these precious memories. Even if you never have an interest in reading these things, I will want to be able to look back on these posts. But I hope you will read them someday.